WHOA!!

Today is 37 weeks.  As of Thursday, I am 2cm dilated and 70% effaced.  So what does that mean??  It means Jonathan could make his arrival today or in 3 weeks.  There is really no telling.  All I know is that I am cleaning like a mad woman today, washing his clothes and keeping a bagged packed ready to go to the hospital, just in case.  I am so excited, nervous, anxious, scared.....but am ready.  I look forward to what these next few days bring....anyone wanna make a bet on the birthdate??

36 weeks!

Ok, I am really starting to feel the anxiety.  He is almost here.  People keep asking, "are you ready?"  Nope, but are you ever really ever ready??  I am so overwhelmed right know.  Sure the nursery isn't ready, I do have clothes and plenty of diapers to get us started, but going through labor, giving birth, and being a mom....I don't think you ever feel ready.  These last 2 weeks have been the toughest.  I have started with some pretty good swelling in my feet.  So, Steve brought me some TED hose...all I can say is HOT!! But hey help!!  I also have a permanent foot stuck up in the right side of my rib cage.  I can't help but chuckle every time, (and grunt) as his little foot just pushes out, looking for any bit of room he can find.  He is definitely running out of room.  I am running out of room.  I don't sleep well at night, but I think that is just God's way of preparing me for what is to come!  I am just so overwhelmed with joy!  In just a few short weeks, I am going to be a mom.  My dream of having a child will come true and Steve and I will begin this new journey in our lives.  I have to admit, I am scared, but I am so reassured knowing that I have an amazing husband to walk down this road with.  I have a wonderful family that has already spoiled Jonathan before he has made his way into this world.  I also have a great network of friends and co workers that have been there with love, prayer and support during this journey.  With that, I am set and I am ready.  I thank God everyday for this little miracle.  Jonathan, I can't wait to meet you, Angel.

A beautiful angel

I come from a big family, and with a big family comes many joy, many tears, weddings, births, and even death.  Again, my family has experienced death.  My beautiful Aunt Becky lost her battle with colon cancer last week at the young age of 50 years.  Death has not hit my father's side of the family in many years and my aunt's passing came as a huge blow.  On mom's side, she has lost both my grandma and grandpa, her brother, my cousin, my brother, my uncle and numerous extended family.  This is the first loss in my dad's immediate family and it has hit like a ton of bricks.  I guess because you never anticipate your loved one's passing away so unexpectedly and to such a horrible disease.  My aunt Becky was such a beautiful woman with two amazing daughters, Sarah and Jessica.  She remarried and brought my Uncle Phil into the family. He was such a great influence on my cousins and treated my aunt so well.  They have a beautiful place out in Comfort, Texas that had become the place for our Thanksgiving celebrations.  All I can say is perfect!  That's what Thanksgiving was like out there.  Aunt Becky set up a table to accommodate all 25 family members.  Each with its own place setting and wine glass.  We ate outdoors, enjoyed the scenery, livestock and fresh air.  Ate to our hearts content, drank to even more content and enjoyed the bonfire at night.  I LOVED Thanksgiving out at her place.  It was the one time a year that EVERYONE was together.  It was what made our family, family.  I do believe that one Thanksgiving our family went through an entire case of wine...yes, a case!!  What can I say, we are hispanic and like to drink!!  This Saturday we will celebrate her life.  And that is what she would have wanted, a celebration.  She left her mark on so many and has two beautiful women to carry on in her footsteps.  Right now, I just pray for Uncle Phil, Sarah and Jessica.  I pray that God bring peace to their hearts.  That He comfort them and allow them to realize that their mother is no longer suffering.  In her death, she has been made whole, she is experiencing eternal life with our God and Savior and is the most beautiful Angel in His army.  I am sorry that Jonathan will never meet his aunt Becky.  I am sorry that the girls will not have their mom by their side.  I will never take for granted the fact that I can pick up the phone and talk to my mom.  Tonight, I just pray that God open up his loving arms to take Becky into eternal glory and that peace just shine over Uncle Phil and the girls.